Thursday, August 1, 2013

Friendship musings

WARNING: I am feeling particularly sappy this evening, so don't read any further if you're feeling easily nauseated.

Friendship is a wonderful thing. Really, having a friend is one of the best things. And I am so very lucky for the friendships that I have in my life and consider myself lucky to call these women my friends. Near or far, new or old, we have found a way to maintain such close bonds that I would not trade for anything. 

The last few years have proven very fruitful for me, especially when it comes to maturity, wisdom, and life lessons. In five years, I have found myself married, divorced, dating, and now engaged again. The ups and downs that I have seen, have really shown me a lot about myself, no doubt. But also about the people that I have chosen to keep in my life. I have always felt strongly about having the right people around me, and I have worked very hard to get myself to a point where I can honestly say that I do. Through that, I have learned a few important lessons about people and friendships and time. 

The first thing I have learned, is that in many cases, someone is meant to be in your life for a period of time. For a chapter in your book, shall we say. I have had people come and go out of my life, especially over the past few years. As an adult, you need to put it all into perspective. Many times, you need something from someone, or vice versa. Or this person fills a hole, a void, that needs to be filled at that moment. There's nothing wrong with this, especially not at that time, but this is not a lasting friendship. Sure, you may get along well and laugh and have fun, and find them as someone you can confide in at the time. But then one day you wake up and you have moved on. And that's ok. I think making yourself ok with it is the hardest part. 

The second, simply put, is:

Who cares how many friends you have?!! It is really just about who matters. And who you matter to. I tend to have very high expectations of people. The way I look at it, is I have high expectations of myself, especially when it comes to how I treat people I care about. I hold myself to a very high standard, and I truly expect the same in return. I have walked away from many friendships because I did not feel that efforts were being reciprocated. It's sad, and it's hard, and it is never an easy decision to make {ok sometimes it is}.. And this definitely sounds cruel reading it back. But wouldn't the world be a happier place if everyone surrounded themselves with good, real people? And said "to heck" with the ones who aren't?

That's not to say there haven't been ups and downs with the friends I do have. No one's perfect, not even me. But knowing that we have the foundations that make the ups so up, and the downs worth getting back up from is what matters. I find it refreshing to know that no one in my life is not supposed to be there. Everyone has their purpose, their special place in my life. Some I don't get to talk to nearly enough. Some I don't get to see nearly enough. Some have been around for ever, some have entered my life more recently. Each relationship is different. Each relationship has grown in its on way, changed and developed through out the course of time.

These people are just so special and really can make me see my own worth more than anyone else can, and I am truly blessed to have such amazing women in my life that I am lucky enough to call my friends. This is a time when it makes me sad that I will not be having a bridal party to stand by my side. I can't thank my girlfriends for all that they do in my life and ask for the honor of having them as bridesmaids, standing with me as I say "I do". Hopefully, they all know who would be up there, and they know what they mean to me.

Love you, bitches. © That is all.

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